When Control Creeps In: A Workplace Culture Reminder

Control shows up quietly. It’s rarely labeled as control. It tends to sound like “just making sure” or “trying to get ahead of it” or “I need to know how this is going to land.”

It doesn’t matter what your title is—whether you’re leading a team or working solo—most people wrestle with the impulse to control what they can’t. Especially when things feel uncertain or when stakes feel high.

We spend energy trying to manage how others perceive us. We try to steer how people show up, how they respond, how they interpret what we say or do. We focus on the output, on the optics, on them.

What often gets lost in that process is us.

• How am I showing up?

• What do I think about the work I’m doing?

• Do I feel in alignment with what I’m contributing?

  
  

Reflecting on the external is important. But without internal reflection, it creates a culture of anxiety—one where the goal becomes avoidance of criticism rather than pursuit of growth. When we’re clear on our own motivations and behaviors, we create more room to tolerate feedback without falling apart. We also become more equipped to hold others accountable in ways that support learning, instead of reinforcing shame or fear.

That doesn’t mean we lower expectations or let things slide. It means we create space for development rather than defensiveness. It means accountability is grounded in clarity and consistency, not reactivity and blame. When people feel safe enough to look inward, they show up in ways that benefits everyone. That’s where culture shifts. Not in a dramatic overhaul—but in everyday choices to self-reflect before micromanaging, to model growth instead of perfection, and to approach mistakes (ours and others’) with curiosity rather than control. It's simple but not easy so get to work practicing and watch how it changes things.

P.S. I'm talking about this in terms of professional spaces but this concept can and, in my opinion, should be integrated into every space you occupy. Your home, the airport ticket counter, your car, etc. Not only does it serve you everywhere but it helps you stay aligned within yourself and prevents burnout, because it's exhausting to have to switch your strategies depending on the space you are in.