Elvis Helps Me Do "The Work."

My husband and I are celebrating 14 years of marriage today. This picture of us on the Vegas Strip surrounded by a pack of grinning Elvii (apparently that’s the plural of Elvis) is my favorite from that day. In my completely unbiased opinion, it’s the best wedding photo ever taken. It’s full of energy, joy, excitement, maybe a little intoxication, and definitely love, youth, and hope. I just love it and 14 years later our marriage has evolved into something so different than those young people in the picture could have ever imagined, it's lived in and full- full of light, dark, and shadows. Today I deeply understand what people mean when they say marriage takes work. I now understand that all relationships take work, but I also know that "the work" is not just about addressing the dark or shadowy moments. It's also about finding the light, and maybe some Elvii, to support the heaviness of the dark. This photo is an important reminder for me to find the light because I need it to do "the work." Of course, this is not just about marriage. It's about relationships, all of them. Romantic, professional, and personal. Even the one you have with yourself.

The Work and the Wisdom

Relationships, whether in marriage, leadership, or friendship, are the foundation of emotional intelligence. They’re where we learn to listen, repair, and reconnect. And they’re also where we forget.

We forget that connection isn’t only built through fixing what’s wrong. It’s also sustained by noticing what’s right. Even in hard seasons, there’s value in pausing to ask, What’s good right now? What’s working, even in small ways? That kind of self-awareness grounds you in clarity instead of chaos. It’s the same mindset shift that transforms high achievers from burnout-driven problem solvers into balanced, relational leaders - the kind who can stay steady through the dark because they remember the light.

The Shadows and the Light

Every relationship has light, dark, and shadows. The difference between thriving and just surviving often comes down to how you respond to each. I tend to see the shadows first. I hone in on the flaws, the patterns, the things that need fixing. I can analyze it, strategize it, and “work” on it until I’m completely disconnected from what matters most. And that’s usually when burnout sets in, whether in parenting, leadership, or partnership. Failure is great when it brings insight. But repeated failure, doing the same things, expecting new results, that’s not growth. That’s fatigue masquerading as effort. So instead of diving deeper into the dark, I’m working to balance more intentionally. To notice what’s hard and what’s beautiful.

The Reminder

Today, as I look at that ridiculous, wonderful photo and all that unfiltered joy, I’m reminding myself to live and lead with balance and presence. Yes, notice the dark. Yes, notice the shadows. But don’t forget the light. The light gives the dark its meaning. The light reminds us why the work matters, and the light is what keeps us alive.

Happy anniversary to us - 14 years in and the light keeps shining!